“There may be times you may feel giving up to all your problems that you’re going through. Life maybe unfair but always remember that when no one else will stand by your side I’ll be right here for you. Be positive. Life must go on. If you messed up, so what? Learn to stand up again and walk with confidence. If other people laugh at your failure, then prove to them that they are wrong. Luv u nak!”

Thus, goes the text message from my nanay. After graduating from the nursing school, I know how she expects me to excel on my field. But I failed her. Of course nothing to blame than myself and all my decision makings I have to admit that I messed up. And I can’t really admit that it was intentional.

Back in my elementary days, even during on high school, I have never fancied myself pushing in any of the allied medical professions. But I did it. I graduated from a private college, I made it cum laude and I became a Registered Nurse rightly after.

I didn’t practice it. I was hired in an events and communications company. I enjoyed the corporate world but I resigned after a year and decided to go freelance. Event is one time big time. It gives me a sense of fulfillment in a way that I can really express myself in every detail of it.

But why am I not contented? And I always have this sense of guilt. Maybe because this wasn’t my parents want me to do. My mother has always been apologetic every time she will call and tell me that I need to get a job base on my degree. And I believe, I will, soon.

I know she cries a lot thinking that the only way I could repay back my most generous aunt who never fails to send me to school is to be well on my chosen field. But I promise you tita and mama that I might messed up today, but tomorrow I will clean. And it would be soon.

I feel sorry whenever I think of it, whenever I remember my nanay. Not just because until now I never had the chance to hid their advice, but also because I miss them so much. I miss myself being just laid back and simple. A probinsyano. And I’ve always wanted to tell them that I might be urbanized in many sense but I never change the way I love them.

It was just yesterday when I received this text message. I’m glad I had it. It was just right on time. And soon mama you will be fully proud of me!

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