When I was little I had a normal childhood. Though my dad was miles away working for the family welfare I was blessed with a devoted mom and two supportive brothers ahead of me and not to mention a spoiler and ever protective grandmother. I couldn’t feel anything missing, even my dad left for abroad right before I was born. And I just happened to see him after thirteen years and it’s another story, but believe me it was never a big deal for me. It’s not that I don’t really care about my dad but I just get used of living the way it was since I have acquired my consciousness. Salvaging the greatest gift I had since I was born which is my mom, my brothers and lola and an aunt which is so dear to me is the only way I could believe more that a family doesn’t require anyone, but unconditional love and camaraderie.
I’ve gone thru with those entire milestone on my infancy. My personality became more identified. I cling to the home I’ve grown up to and people I’ve grown up with. My childhood is such a dream of every little kid. My mom would walk me to that sweet tiny school where I spent my nursery and pre-school days. I remember my snackbox filled with cloudnine chocolate, a bottle of juice and a sandwich made with a mother’s love.
I could never imagine a life without this people: my comfort zone; my support system, my only treasure.
I became dependent on the fact that no matter what happens they are there, and I couldn’t be more right, not until I’ve learned that good things never really meant to last. As me and my brothers grow up, the family expenses became more demanding. We barely heard anything from dad which that time is the crucial period in middle-east, we know it’s happening long before my mom finally broke her denial and stood up and said we can no longer rely on your dad. Like I said dad is another story. I never hate him not until I forgave him.
My mom left and decided to work abroad. We live a comfortable life. But comfort is never co-terminus with love and guidance of a mother. My middle brother got into pre-marital sex at a very young age and he has to nurse a family rightly after. My older brother left the school for health problems. My mom was devastated I called her and told her she needs to go home. She did. But it’s too late.
It was no one’s mistakes. It was fate, a lesson.
Well I couldn’t believe that this writing is turning into my life’s testimony. Why did I title this addiction? We are all prone to be dependent on something. From infancy and up to now that I am a young adult. I realized that there are things that we are just compelled to do given a certain circumstance and certain need and we have no choice. But to learn from them, that is.
There are things that are too good to be true, somehow they are true but they never seem to last.
Everything is an addiction: chocolates, cartoons, games, family, home and even love. There are no easy ways to withdraw from these. No rehab. No medical management. It’s a self-dealing thing. If you are clever enough somehow you can just equip yourself of the fact that the only constant thing is change. But I bet you won’t believe it unless you pass your withdrawal and learn to accept things and if that’s the case you’re lucky enough to learn.