PAIN > a n g e r

I just had a meaningful Sunday, I attended the 8am service @ WORDofHOPE, and I just couldn't love more the preaching, perfectly relevant. I get to work out rightly after and now it's dawning, life couldn't get any better when you realize that L I F E is just so simple and that elusive happiness that people used to find is just right there within us seemingly a treasure waiting to be found.

I had such a wonderful experience the last full year of 2010. I get to gross an income fair enough to call it very satisfying. I really enjoy my job as a freelance event planner and stylist. I came across with a lot of people, get updated with the latest trends and of course the job experience is very unsurpassable. I get to book an event abroad and the experience was really amazing. When I look back 2010 I can feel a lot of emotions. But never will I regret anything. Not a single thing.

I never hesitated to say, “I’m sorry.” I am of very strong personality, I am strong and I am a dare-devil. God made me one maybe because He knows I’ll be needing it. Although sometimes you can rub on my face all my mistakes and I will just give you a blunt reaction, it’s me being weak is the only weapon that could destroy me, but I will assure you I will think about every word you said and I will C H A N G E. Somehow I don’t really believe in a tearful sorry, I settle for an action and a change in behavior.

We cling to people and confine to them what we feel. We open up to them not because we want to betray others but because we T R U S T them. They sympathize or empathize but sometimes they will use it against you.

“We have to distrust each other. It is our only defense against betrayal,” thus DN said. I can’t blame him. Sometimes people closest to our hearts are the one most capable of surprising us, said Rufus Humphrey.

But this is I what I said, “I'll live one day at a time, little by little, bit by bit my heart will forgive and my soul will get healed and someday I will look back and regret nothing because I know I'd loved them even if they hated me.”

To DN you still have to trust anyway, it's our only defense against unhopefulness that human kind is still of God's resemblance.

Sometimes we don’t really owe people anything nor do they owe anything from us. Maybe the simple “thank you,” can define a very rewarding gift after all. I am learning and that’s validate me that I accepted my mistakes. I reacted. I stayed strong and I stood for something I really believe it’s true and worth fighting for.

Maybe I have but only one regret. I’ve lost some people closest to my heart, for what reason? I bet, I still don’t know. But I do want to tell them, they never lost me. They are so dear to me.

I forgave. I repressed. I moved on. Then, I realized that hatred and anger can fade away but somehow the tears can still fall coming from a painful heart. The pain remains and it might take awhile to nurse back again that wounded soul.

Pain is better, it merely cause me to cry, and tears are better than the wrath of vengeance in anger and hatred.

Yesterday I might be crying in pain. Today I can say that I am happy. I face the mirror and I am proud of the person I became. At the end of the day what is important are not the things that you get, but what you’ve become as person.

And I believe T O M O R R O W will always be better. And I would trust, care and love again.

Photo Credit.